Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
