Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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