I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
