Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
