Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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