does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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