You're completely useless in the revolution.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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