Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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