imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
