i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I need to calm my uterus...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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