:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize