I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
