Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
