Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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