He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
