I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
