I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
