You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
