At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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