Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
