Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
