just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh god it's open bar.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
