what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i dont even know how to be here
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
