i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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