made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
