You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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