hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
