Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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