You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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