Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
