Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
