Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
