Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize