We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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