we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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