we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
