guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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