...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
