We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
