3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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