I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
