the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
