Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
