We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
