the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
