its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
