I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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