There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
