So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
