so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
